This is exactly how writing every single one of my papers in college went down.
This is exactly what being an adult at work is like.
My only goal in life
I wish I could like… download languages into my brain.
It’s called studying but the buffering speed is a bitch
this looks like a scene from some kind of reality show
“the dragonborns go camping”
Love the dead stripped bandits just chilling in the background. Truly a stellar example of the dragonborns go camping
This image hurts my brain more than the original debate ever did. Brains are dumb.
i wanted to like make sure this was legit and stuff so i took a section of the left and stretched it over to the right and jesus fuck
rb for the last pic being the best demonstration by far
“This is why I draw in black and white” was all my sleepy, horrified boyfriend could say.
I’m getting my oil changed, sitting in the lobby while I wait, and this lady is talking to the clerk about some kind of payment she needs to make (a store card, maybe? Probably). She asks if she can make her payment in store and the guy says, “Cash payments, yeah.”
Lady: “So can I use a debit card?”
Clerk: “No, unfortunately, that’s the downside. You can make a payment in store, but it has to be cash.”
Lady: “So I can’t use a check or a card?”
NO LADY YOU FUCKING CAN’T HE SAID CASH PAYMENTS ONLY TWICE JFC I HATE PEOPLE
(Since tumblr’s reply system sucks, let me try that again on a reblog.)
This reminds me of the single greatest thing I think I’ve ever witnessed.
I was grocery shopping once at a store where their internet was down (or whatever they used like… 15 years ago?… to communicate with credit card companies). There were signs EVERYWHERE that said “No Credit Cards at this time. All purchases are Cash Only.” Big ones at the registers too, but the cashier working my line was also telling every person before ringing them up.
This guy in front of me let the cashier ring him up and then HANDED OVER HIS DEBIT CARD. I am almost certain the cashier didn’t even say anything before calling for a manager, but when the manager got there, she was like, *totally robotic, dead voice of a person who has literally said this a THOUSAND TIMES*, “We’re cash only today.”
The customer said, “That’s a debit card. It’s just like cash.” And he was super condescending about it.
So the manager opened the cash drawer, took out a 5, 10, and a 20 dollar bill and proceeded to study all the bills next to this man’s debit card. I mean, squinting and smoothing her finger over the corners and everything. (My money is on this woman being a theater nerd, lol.)
But anyway, I’m starting to quietly lose it, because this has just turned from annoying to The Best Thing Ever in the blink of an eye.
Finally, the manager goes, “You’re absolutely right, sir. Sorry for the inconvenience, it’s EXACTLY LIKE A 10 DOLLAR BILL.” She opens the drawer, puts the bills away, PUTTING HIS DEBIT CARD ON TOP OF THE PILE OF 10S, and calmly says, “Your remaining balance is (whatever his total was less ten dollars).
Of course the asshole customer lost his fucking mind and started ranting, and I’m sure that manager caught hell for it, but dude. Best Power Move Ever.
I have no idea how it actually ended because the cashier opened a different line to check us out, but man. I will never forget that.
This lady is my hero. May she still be out there, in perfect health, destroying entitled assholes like a wrecking ball.
In case anyone’s wondering is because getting an x ray once is so barely harmful that it rounds to zero but standing in front of an x ray emitter 40 hours a week for years will definitely kill you
If I go to the bar and have one drink with the bartender I’ll be fine. If the bartender has a drink with every patron then they will die
This is all true and immediately obvious to anyone who thinks about it for more than 1.5 seconds, but it doesn’t change the fact that “dude goes to egypt to press a button” is still the funniest set of words I’ve read today.
i really really love when animals lay on their back and their paws do that thing
the front paws. i love that
its just very good
peep
sasuke being at the top while the rest of the trends are all about the current political disaster we’re living in is so fucking funny
*thor hands peter a mug of beer*
Thor: Exellent work in the mission man of spiders!
Tony: Thor no the kid is 15.
Thor: Oh!
*hands peter two mugs of beer*
Thor: You are a growing boy.
Tony: Thor no.
EVERY TIME I SEE THIS POST IM WEAK
I’m just gonna leave this here…
People who are younger than you but taller
People who are younger than you but better than you at something
People who are younger than you
People
Being turned into a llama
A LLAMA?! HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!
yeah… weird
plot twist: JK rowling writes a series on voldemorts point of view
“i looked in the mirror and cried. i look like an egg”
jacobtheloofah